Review: Transformers 3

MFR Rating: ★
Robots hit each other. Explosions. Bam. Fire. Everything explodes. Metal collisions. Metal on metal. Fake robots decimate computer animations. Hours spent perfecting empty pixels. Millions of dollars burned. Nothing matters. A new model-turned-actress for Bay to get off to. Sexy. Breasts. Look at her. LaBeouf with the charisma of a cadaver. Robots with voices that sound like movie trailer voice-overs speak. Sense is eradicated. Look. An explosion. Robots hit each other. You’ve seen it all before. Bay repeats the tragedy. Evolution stalls. Humans never grow thumbs. Robots collide. Explosions. Bay gets sexually excited. Buildings collapse. Minds shrink. You’ve seen the movie. Robots hit each other. Nothing matters anymore. Cinemas collapse. Projectors explode. The explosions never stop. You’re dead but don’t know it. No one feels a thing anymore.


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