Review: What’s Your Number?

MFR Rating: ★
If you wanted to see every romantic comedy cliché and convention unintelligently condensed into a single film, What’s Your Number? would be right up there. It’s sickly romcommy and excruciatingly lifeless. Everyone involved in this could do with a bit of a kick.

When Ally (Anna Faris) reads a magazine article stating the average woman sleeps with 10.5 men, she panics, realizing she’s already well over this figure and also very close to going beyond the line of ‘nearly impossible to find a husband’ and decides “Oh my God, I have to change my life or no one will ever marry me and I’ll be a whore forever and ever!!!!”. Ally then goes on the hunt for a husband while trying to avoid sleeping with anyone else. She makes a list of her previous 20 and with the help of the rather unpleasant neighbour next door (Chris Evans), she tracks them down. Are they married? Single? Gay? Is true love actually a lot closer than she thinks, in the figure of Mr Unpleasant Neighbour himself? Surely not?

First of all, it’s sexist. Can you imagine a film about a man being worried about the social stigma surrounding how many women he’s been with? He’d be celebrated. Why should a woman be concerned about being ‘unmarriageable’ for the same reasons. Double standards and Hollywood upholding Victorian values.

I laughed once throughout the film, which isn’t too bad. The problem is, the rest misses the mark so widely. One moment that felt particularly misjudged occurs when Ally tracks down an ex who is an aspiring politician, only to find out he’s gay. He then hilariously out-of-the-blue asks her to marry him because “America might be ready for its first black president, but not its first gay, black president!!” Oh my God! That is so funny! Ally is so desperate for a husband but the only man who wants to marry her is a gay guy! As depressingly accurate as the politician’s statement might be, to make a gag out of the situation was crude beyond belief. Cringeworthy.

None of the characters are likeable, they’re all whiny and irreverent. All least in the recent Friends With Benefits the characters were to some extent likeable. There will be absolutely no prizes for guessing who Ally goes for in the end but plenty of wonder just why? Chris Evans’ character is just a bit of an idiot. What any woman would see in such a charisma vacuum is startling. But he does go around naked all the time and has a nice body so maybe that’s all that matters?

It’s a cowardly little film made by cowards. Every story decision is just about as straight down the middle as rom-com can get. Pulped Hollywood trash which makes you wonder –  why do you bother?

What’s Your Number? is out on 30th September in the UK and US. Running time: 106 mins. Certificate 15 (UK).

Comments and feedback are always welcome or just give the film a rating by using the stars at the top.

Review by David Rank


21 thoughts on “Review: What’s Your Number?

  1. David, you really need to lighten up. It’s a rom com. It’s a fun movie. No-one else is taking it too seriously. Have you been hurt by someone?? Do you need a friend? Are you all angry inside?? Go get some therapy or something and stop bringing everyone else down. Please.

  2. Thanks Joe for you comment and for considering my welfare. Just because it is a rom com does not been it can not be criticised when it fails to deliver. We do not always have to sink to the lowest common denominator. Have you seen Crazy, Stupid, Love? A rom com, but also nicely made.

    Filmfan067 – Just wondering if that’s directed at me or Joe Stummer?

  3. Too much time?? Hey, I’m not the one crying into my Babycham about a cowardly rom com that fails to deliver and is made by cowards.
    I just think your review is weird. So much anger over a harmless comedy.
    There’s plenty of things going on to get angry about. Plenty of cowards out there. Go get ’em Dave.

    1. @ Joe Strummer – I find your comments rather contradictory. David’s reviews are completely fine. I don’t always agree with him but he’s providing his opinion (which he’s entitled to) and rather than you taking it so seriously, perhaps you need to lighten up, go get a job and find something better to do with your life.

      Since you feel you have the right to tell David to “go get the cowards,” why not take your own advice and do the same instead of wasting time writing dumb comments on a blog.

      “My name’s Joe Strummer and I’m angry about David’s blog because he writes better than me therefore since I have nothing better to do with my life and since I am a waste of space, I like to spam his blog with my idiotic comments and also go by different aliases (such as FilmFan067) so I can pretend that other people feel the same.”

      Also, I think David is far too sophisticated to be “crying into a Babycham.” Now we all know how you cry so thanks for sharing (although we weren’t really interested)! 😉

  4. maybe it isnt the best movie however that is your opinion and i believe it has some very good moments and the casting is brilliant

  5. I got one final comment A_P.
    Your boyfriend David here is a person with an opinion. Just like me, just like you A_P, A_Person with an opinion which, as you rightly point out, we are all entitled to.
    My issue is when some nobody with an opinion pretends to be a film critic.
    Film critics are professionals who have earnt the right to criticize films. They generally have intelligence and intellect and even if they don’t like a film, have the ability to be eloquent and articulate and subjective. Have a look at the Total Film review of this movie. It’s not positive. But it’s a film review.
    David’s opinions bounce between angry rhetoric and personal abuse. They’re pathetic and he pretends, through his fancy website, that he actually does this professionally.
    IMDB created a “user review” section specifically for people like David.
    And although it’s plainly obvious to anyone with a double figure IQ that David is nothing more than a small, bitter man with a computer, it’s somehow frustrating to see this level of banality appearing on such a well respected website as IMDB. The rest of us expect a little more.

  6. Joe Strummer – thanks for confirming you’re a FMUK member! 🙂 Always glad to know FMUKers are reading this! 😉 You know, you could have really used your FMUK name if you wanted to – I really couldn’t care less who you are on FMUK (oh and going by an alias completely defeats your point in calling David a coward – who is the coward now? 😉 )

    What I don’t understand is why are you targetting David’s blog? I’ve seen several reviews that have heavily criticised films in a negative light so how is David’s any different? I found it rather amusing and he raises good points and as we both agree, he gives his opinion of the film which he is more than entitled to do. He’s not breaking the law or anything of the sort.

    Why does David have to earn the right to criticise films? We need to get past this stage where you need to be a professional to be able to review a film or have a blog. This is David’s hobby and if he likes it then to hell with anybody whose doesn’t. Don’t like it, don’t read it – simple, really. You are obviously reading it religiously to get so worked up over it.

    You mention “David’s opinions bounce between angry rhetoric and personal abuse.” Similarly your opinion on this blog reflects exactly that. So what makes you any better? Everything you mention about David is everything I see in your own posts so I am baffled as to what gives YOU the right to make such comments about David.

    Also – David doesn’t do this professionally nor does he mention it that he does it like that. Unless I have missed him declaring this somewhere? He mentions clearly he is a student (may I point out from a prestigious Russell Group university) and films is something he is passionate about. What’s wrong with blogging about that?

    David is anything but a “a small, bitter man with a computer,” as you write. For starters, he actually uses a laptop, is very happy, always smiling and hell, he’s very tall too so hardly accounts for anything in your description of him. I take it you were talking about yourself ONCE again but decided to insert David’s name instead.

    Lastly, you mention David’s my boyfriend? Simply supporting David makes him my boyfriend? Really? What a childish comment to make. Perhaps you feel like this because you want to be David’s partner and as a result of his high standards and in rejecting you, you have got your undergarments in a right little knot. Actually that explains all the ranting on his blog.

    You are more than entitled to your opinion Joe Strummer, just like myself and David and every other person in this world. However it is really uncalled for and very unecessary to come and write abusive comments on his blog simply because you disagree with him. If it makes you so unhappy, just don’t read it. End of.

  7. OK, well that’s a very long rant there A_P.
    I did just about get through the first paragraph but it is in some weird code. Lots of smiley faces and capital letters. You might have to explain all that.
    I kind of scanned quickly over the rest of it and I think the jist is that you actually agree with me that David is in fact not the film critic he is disingenuously masquerading as, sadly he’s just a regular blogger. You certainly mention his blog a few times.
    Sometimes it’s difficult to admit you’ve been wrong and I think it’s very brave of you to do so in public. Respect for that.

    1. If you are unable to read or comprehend English then I’m very sorry Joe Strummer because I’m not sure what else will go through your head.

      Agree with you? Hahahahaha. I hope you’re joking but if not, yeh….sure, whatever floats your boat! 😉

      PS – I’m never wrong when it concerns David but it’s great to see you’re finally realising how wrong you are in regards to him. See, we finally got there with you!

  8. So…Mr Strummer.

    A Google search declares the email address you have provided searches back to a Mr Jon Billington. We might all agree IMDB is a fantastic website, but your credit for What’s Your Number? isn’t listed.

    A little bit of extra digging. – what a shocker, you were a Production Designer on What’s Your Number?. Who’s the pathetic one now?

    Good luck with your future projects, Jon. Maybe you shouldn’t read the reviews in future so that ‘bitter little men behind the keyboard’ like myself don’t bother you.

  9. haha how pathetic I guess that guy isn’t very proud of his work. Can’t blame him tbh

    For what it’s worth, enjoyed the review. Maybe one to miss

  10. David I hate to say this, but reading the trolling was almost as entertaining as the review itself!

    I can understand why someone would be so upset when reading a bad review of a film they recently spent a large chunk of their past year(s) working on…

    But then trolling the hell out of a bad review… Really? Why?

    The one thing that makes me feel any pity for you is that you must be passionate about your job Mr Junior-Draughtsperson-On-Judge-Dredd!
    -You have already been payed for this job, if you weren’t passionate, you wouldn’t be kicking up a fuss. Everybody makes a bad film or two in their career, just look at Michael Bay!


    You are paying David a compliment. (If you are the one and only L.A. Production Designer for “Ali G Indahouse”). If you are getting payed with a percentage of each ticket sold, you are suggesting that David’s reviews have such a large readership (and therefore – influence) that it is worth anonymously Trolling his review in the hope that it will convince people to not believe what he says. Thereby -hoping- that they will still go see your not-so-great film.

    Wow, its a very long-winded compliment David!

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